Month: January 2011

I never knew my father. All that my mother spouted to me was that he was a drunk and a coward.

That’s all I would ever know.

My mother took a dagger in the chest when I was five. You see, she was a whore. A good one, in fact, or so I heard. It’s just that she didn’t take anything from anyone, and come time to cough up the coin, one man didn’t want to pay. That must’ve sent my mother off in a frenzy, which led to the dagger.

I loved that woman.

I think they caught the man. I’m not quite sure what happened to him. It’s all a bit fuzzy. All I remember after that is the orphanage. I can still smell the metallic rust of that shithole.

– From Unpublished: Entry 33 by Thaydon Vorlance

Obnoxious snoring again. I didn’t get a decent night’s rest under the moon with these thugs. I lie there wondering why I joined these miscreants.

The overabundance of muscle on this job made retrieving the item as easy as playing keep-away from a Halfling, and the pay paltry.

Just when my exhaustion began to win out, my eyes caught a shadow flash in front of the few remaining embers of the fire. There he was, tiptoe-ing over to it. My pay was about to be forfeit at the hands of that drunken fool.

As small as the reward was, I wasn’t going to let that happen.

He was too busy prying the shiny, silver shirt from the sleeping arms of one of the others, the most “trustworthy” of the bunch. I wager he would’ve bolted already save for the excessive celebrating that night.

He managed to wrestle it from the grunt’s idle arms.

The idiot stood there with a foolish grin on his face and shirt in his grasp.

And a dagger in his back.

I learned a lesson that night. With shirt in hand and a dead man at your feet, it’s difficult to appear innocent.

Luckily, I was the only one who could run in a straight line that night.

– Excerpt from Five Fools and a Foreigner by Thaydon Vorlance

After the mutual parting of ways with my old mentor, I had not a clue where to travel first. By fate’s hand, I ventured a voyage on sea, to be that of a sea swindler.

The job was fun at first. The group I joined were quick with wit, and a good sort with which to drink. Acting as government inspectors, we would board ships with forged documents after they set sail. The lies varied, from looking for stowaways to random inspections of cargo, but they always seemed to work.

Word travels fast, however, even across the open sea. The real government began warning ships, and the wind was let out of our sails. The first time our bluff was called almost resulted in my wet demise, but one of my mates stepped in and decked the ship’s captain. We escaped by the skin of our teeth that day.

With our tactic ruined, we were pressed to head further out to sea, further away from the docks. Things got much bloodier. Goods and coin were taken by the forceful tip of a blade.

There we were, sea swindlers, but pirates by any other name. It was messy.

I grew weary of the risks of the job, and I realized I hated the constant ups and downs of sea life. The lack of land grew tiresome, and two of our crew had been killed in recent boardings. The next time we docked, I left my sea legs behind.

– Excerpt from Set Sail! by Thaydon Vorlance

I can’t believe I got away with it. Pratzer is the best crook I know. The best I’ve ever known.

And I got him. I got him good.

It’s not like he didn’t have it coming after all. All those years of slave labor. All the shouting.

The hitting.

Although it’s not like I didn’t ask for it from time to time. I gave him lip whenever I had the chance, and he did take me under his wing for all these years. Maybe the frame was a bit hasty.

Not much I can do about it now.

Besides, it was a good frame. He’s caught in the act, with the package seemingly destroyed, but in reality safely tucked away in my backpack. He should be quite proud.

I’m sure he’s quite furious.

– From Unpublished: Entry 12 by Thaydon Vorlance